I wake up one morning and I am suddenly a woman! Scary!

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

OK, OK, I hate to laugh at myself but then again
If I laugh at myself first then others will feel its a joke
And laugh with me
At least, not at me, Thank God!
OK, that's what I tell myself when I start writing these blogs about me.
Recently, I have just been struggling with all the many changes in my life
New business, new relationship status, new way of life and the most annoying, new weight
But this blog isn't about all my issues
Its about suddenly waking up and realizing all too suddenly
I AM NO LONGER A GIRL, AM ALL GROWN!

For me, it was a rude awakening
You see, am this playful girl who loves to just be playful and happy
Oh, not that I don't know that life isn't a big game board,
No, not that at all but I just love to stay away from too many damned issues and just be happy
So you see why I feel like my arse got stung rudely by a bee in my blissful sleep
YES, so am wide awake now
With a new business, my business
Going around being serious, calculating, praying even
Yeah, seriously praying and that's new to me too
My mum, she does all the prayers in my family
I just sleep knowing,...Of course am covered by her prayers
But now, all too suddenly I seriously pray, I even spent four whole days in a camp meeting praying
That's the seriousness of my realization!
Then there is this business
I spend time and time, pouring over and going through my business plan
I spend sleepless nights doing research
Boy, I miss my midnight Romantic novels and late night Romantic comedy series!
I pour over books on marketing
I spend endless hours just going over sales records
Just adding and subtracting
Phone calls that have nothing to do with movie nights and dates
Smiling even when I don't want to, just so my customers will have a smile on their lips too
Then there is the man
Wonderful and loving
But God, he is just a man
Wont always see things my way
And I also have to try and see things from his own perspective  
And I have to respect him and his feelings
Did I mention the constant annoyance of not giving out my number and going to wonderful dates with cute looking guys

Jeez, I can't even flirt and the guys I meet these days lack that exciting glow of being potentials...
I also have to be nice to my man's family too
And say things that sound womanly and wise,
We all know am wise but sounding like my aunties and mum?
Bugger that! I wince listening to myself sometimes

So here I am with this business, a man, prayers and a new family
And I remember when I used to say 'when I grow up'
And all of a sudden, am all grown up
I don't know if I like being grown up
But here I am with my rude rude awakening
All grown up with responsibilities
I am a woman!

The shit on me!

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

This week I realized just how judgmental and hard I have been on people while I myself, of course, do exactly the same thing at different time thinking well... Don't know what I must be thinking.
Could be that I think those things are cooler on me, LOL. Silly me.
I travelled and stayed over at a friend's. Yeah, we had a whole lot of fun and we even had enough gossip time ( I must admit, almighty me too, I am guilty)
Spent so much time talking about all the girls we know and all the craziness we both heartily agree they do have. In fact turns out all the girls we know together r very crazy too. Hahaha
Well, being a very honest person, somehow, the spotlight turned on me. Oh, instantly I began to feel like a roach with a kid locked down on it
Boy, did I try to make all the crazy things that I have done in my life look so good.
But who the hell was I kidding though? I got shit on me too and it sure don't smell like roses.
Yes, I agree, some people's shit stinks way further than ours. I mean, this one girl we talked about has slept with enough guys near the hostel we both stayed in and has had her bf catch her plenty times and beat the living bulldogs out of her, sure my shit don't stink anything close to that.
But we are all human right? The fact that we didn't get caught doesn't make us clean.
Hilarious too, is the fact that we both laughed our pretty heads silly at a girl's ghastly make up while I still couldn't tell my friend she smudged her kohl liners so much she looks like some voodoo doll from a badly produced horror flick, but hey, who cares, we were in it together so I closed my eyes to the offending liner.
Today on my way back, I met this girl in the car that we took us back to Lag.
My God! Ragamuffin cum rock star cum washed up actress slash alcoholic slash Beyonce wanna-be. I had a very good secret laugh to myself especially when she started flaunting her neon pink BB
But well, could be she has a flight to catch (which kept repeating over the phone till I started wondering if it was her first time), could be she woke up from wonderland this morning.
Hell, whatever. I ll never know but am sure if it were me looking like that ( not like I would look so tacky in a million years), I would expect everyone to understand and bear with me. Right?
My point to all this???
Well, I must learn not to be so judgmental, I mean, I ain't so so clean myself  and I expect you to think too highly of me anyways. Ten if I know that, I should try and be a lil more easy on others too.
We all got shit, so wipe yours and stop staring so hard at other's or that will be all you will ever see of life.
That sure ain't the view I wanna live and leave this life with.
WORD!

Why do we smile in our big white wedding dresses? Why, why?

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

Most women get excited about getting married
I just sit here and wonder why.
Why exactly do we even need to go through all that stress
I have never fully understood having to even agree to it all at the very least
Why leave a family that loves you so dearly not minding who you are and enter one you know naught about
All the scrutiny, all the continuous seeking of family approval and acceptance
After which the gruesome planning of all the different tormenting ceremony after ceremony
Introduction, traditional, court and white wedding?
Then leaving your birth given name for some acquired one just to boost the man's ego
Marking his complete ownership of you
Then the beginning of another era, you in a new house turning it into a home solely by yourself
I wonder why women even smile at all during their wedding
Why that big broad grin when you should just be whimpering at the thought of such a foreign experience?
Just the sheer fear of becoming a part of another human being should strike us down with overwhelming emotions
Just the imagination of being a part in the creation another life should have us running in our beautiful white dresses and breaking the heels of our silver sandals from the flight
I look at all these picture over and over again
These women are glowing, I still don't understand why, no one seems to be bothered that they are giving up their freedom
FREEDOM! people, why crave slavery so
Then it finally dawns on me. I laugh so hard tears come gushing down my eyes
Yes, I think I know why we are rushing towards it
I finally understand that to find a man that wants you, no, needs you to function, to exist, to build his future
Is the best feeling ever. It means you are a key to someone's destiny.
I understand that when he makes his vows to you and tell you that he 'takes' you to be his lawful wedded wife
The only woman with complete power over him, and he willingly gives that to you
That is something wonderful
But best of all, to find that man you wanna give up all your own life for
To look into his eyes and hold his whole world in your hands and your womb
To find that man that loves you no matter what
That constantly tells you 'I love you, you are my world' and means it to the very last
That's the reason that all these ladies are smiling and not frowning
Yes, I wanna find such a man too and suddenly I know its not scary at all
In fact I am sure I will be grinning like a fool that found a shiny gold coin on my own day
Heck yeah, That's why we are all gonna be smiling in that big white dress you wear only once in your life (if you are lucky ;-)

I also need me such a man. And you guessed right, I just placed an order. lol

The world through his eyes

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

He sits there all day everyday
All the lustre and sparkle of life out of his eyes
Just hanging in there like a burned out lamp
People passing, Strangers but very familiar to him
Some are the regulars, rushing off to work every morning
Some just passer bys
He knows their names, he sees them through his eyes
Weary, beaten and down throdden
Yet he feels better than they can ever be
The mothers with their children, taking them to school
They have that to worry about, strains of married life on their faces
Men in their cars, chasing the vanities of life
Insatiable in their pursuits for happiness
Young girls all donned up, paints on their faces 
Hoping every male eye rests on themYoung men with their swaggering steps pose so hard
Yet lacking confidence about their future in their hearts
Problems pass here everydayAll clothed up in all kinds of clothes in all shades imaginable
Their various names imprinted on it
Then there are the poor, the rich
The noise of the market starting up drones on behind
Through his eyes,
Dust rise and busy humans scurry about
He sits there in the corner
'I am better than them, I have no one to look after, no vanities to chase, I have no need for a change of clothes
I have no care in the world, just to sit here all day. I don't even beg anymore, all I do is just sit'
He smiles to himself
Yes, yet another day, let up the curtain and let the plays begin
The same one that played yesterdat, and the before and the day before before
just a slight change in the act
But same as always
The world through his eyes
Life is just a big joke!
That's what it all means to this very old begger I pass on my way to work every morning.

Marriage Pressure Saga!

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

My colleague spends about three hours everyday on her Facebook page
pouring over zillions and gazillions of wedding pictures
Who got married last week? Where did she get married? Her gown? ETC
She even calls you sometimes and shows you
But just when she feels no one is looking
There is this wistful look drawn down her face
Wow! I went to school with all these girls
And they are all getting married or married...
That's what she must be thinking
And somehow she is without a boyfriend
Oh and she is perfectly a good girl, hard working too and well, not bad looking
Sometimes I want to go over and tell her to just stop looking at those pictures
She should just pursue her dream, be the best she she can ever be
Who even said 29 or 30 was old for marriage
I know deep down inside me that society puts pressure on us all
And then your mum starts suggesting people, those you like and hate
Your aunties begin to put you in prayers and even find more men than your mum for you
Then your niece or small cousin or even your kid sister prints an invite for her wedding
And your married friends act like marriage is a bed of roses without thorns
Frustration sets in and psychological motivation for any form of improvement just goes away
You then suck at your job, start bitching at every passing young good looking woman
And carry your shoulders like the world is rested on it
SEE WHAT I SAY!
Once that happens, you stop living and start existing
Your weariness sends a firewall to every passing male
Because they can't see the funny you, the lively one that they will live with all their lives
The one that's inspired to be more, the one that's happy and not nagging
How do they see you past this firewall?
GO OUT!
Go live a little, be fun, get on your make up, be young
Trust me, men are attracted to youth and being dejected is the fastest way to losing it
And who really needs a man to be happy. Yes!
The bible says that 'HE WHO FINDS A WIFE FINDS A GOOD THING'
Its the man's advantage if he finds you and you should be his source of happiness, not the other way round
So let them see the light in you and get drawn in
Dont be pressured. BE YOU!
...OK, Let me run, she is calling me to see one story about a proposal in Bella naija
Bitching part 2 for today! I tire oooo....

Regained my lost Independence from my phone!

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

Somehow I felt my life depended on my phone and my facebook
I love it when my phone rings cos it makes me feel like someone just thought about me
And if I read posts and comments on FB, I feel deeply connected
Then if I get a mail on Yahoo or Facebook or even my office mailbox, I feel important
A serious part of something
Anyways, after talking to a friend on Friday
I was just smiling sheepishly to myself
And it struck me like a thunderbolt, my happiness has been coming
Not from within but from outside, from my phone
And somehow I have let my modern technology determine how I smile
How important I feel about myself, my daily programmes, just how I live my sweet life
OK, so my friend said he was gonna call back?
I just took my phone, pressed my power button and off my phone went
Lets see if I will be happy on my own
I have always prided myself on my independence
Time to see if I am truly as independent as I claim to be
Because if I lack the power to my own happiness
Just how independent am I?

So this morning I am all smiles,
I looked inside me this weekend, I searched my soul real hard
And somehow everything that I have left unattended to, I had time to think on it
After staying at home and having a really wonderful time going out by myself
I realised that, Yes, I have lost a little of my most cherished independence to my phone
And have failed to simply just enjoy life itself
I discovered that the guy who does my weaves atimes is gay and very conscious of being judged Hence his attack on me for something very trivial
He just plain stated '...I don't care if you call me a...FFAAAGGGGG!'
Jeez, how could I not have seen? I just had myself a good laugh
I even noticed that the guy who sells my dvds to me has a lovely smile and clearly digs me
' who would have thought?'
And that I missed One Tree Hill so much that I finished Season Seven one day!
And totally understood again why my friends think Brooke is so me
And that I have put a lot of things on serious PAUSE for my phone
So I just kicked back and had a swell time, laughed and shared my life with people that really matters to me
And it felt soooooooooo good
Not that my phone doesn't matter
Its just that...well... I love my independence and I was just proving a point to me
So my phone is now on people...just give me a ring
I really missed you all!
... And well, You will still make me very happy!

I wanna fake die?

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

What is it with we Nigerians?
I mean, why aren't we just real and open and even plain straight?
I seriously think that most of our problems stem from our constant inability to tell ourselves the truth and just stop creating false air around us.
And even when others just get real and do their own thing the way they feel about it,
We run them down and make them wish they never got real.
We don't talk about sex and even when someone does, we run them down
Like we all don't get into it and because we don't talk about it in the right way
Not during jesting sessions, we do the thing wrongly
We go to church and even live next door to all kinds of religious home
However, we are the dirtiest minded people
With all sorts of scam lodging in our head
If you come out plain and talk about your weaknesses
Instead of help you build strength to overcome them,
People just act like you are the devil himself
As if every man isn't born with a measure of weakness
Seriously! He who has no sin cast the first stone.
I have read a lot of Nigerian articles
And all the time I can't help seeing how much doused in hypocrisy they are
Normal sins we all just commit everyday like lie, gossip and even cheating
Gets talked about like the writer was writing from the gates of heaven
Come on! Who are we fooling? Ourselves?
I am sure its ourselves we are fooling and not others around us
Because if you are like me that have a way of making people open up and talk
And if you hear the things that very self righteous people have to say
Trust me, You will be like me right now
Angry at our baggage of deceits and over pretentiousness.
I am not promoting evil with my blog
God forbid! But I am just saying
Openness might be the key to solving all our individual issues
And possibly our Nationality issues
Everyone wants to be seen as what they are not
Everyone wants to be perceived as an angel
What we don't know is that we reek of evil.
Don't tell me you don't enjoy sex with that self righteous frown on your face.
Just because it makes you look good, so why do you do it
Don't tell me you never told a lie to get something or look better.
Because even pastors lie from time to time
Why crucify KC Presh just because he said Ijeoma's ring is worth $20,000
Didn't Jay Z also tell us how much Beyonce's ring was worth?
Can't we just let our starts be stars? Na wa
Stop there now, Don't tell me 'She is pregnant' looking like she has leprosy
Damn! How many abortions have you had?
And how many girls have you impregnated?
So you wanna look good by living a double life?
If you have cancer and you cover it up
You will die eventually without even trying Chemo
So our president is back, dead or alive we still don't know
All cause of the seat of power
Is this inborn, would we continue being what we are not
Good people Great Nation? Giant of Africa?!
So who are we?
Its high time we got down to being open about so many things and finding solutions
And not patching things up with bogus names and fake actions
Or our children will grow up and learn from others how to be
Then more Abdul Mutallab will surface
How can we deal with that then if we don't do the right things now?
Please, LET'S GET REAL!

...And see me typing away, as if am any better
A friend once said '...All na hype...'
And you know what? I believe him
Because am guilty of this sin too.
I wanna fake die?

...Being in love with that guy...

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

...Being in love with that guy
That guy you can't take to the movies
You don't share the sunset by the beach with him
Walk those lonely cold nights lost in his arms
That guy that you can't roll over at night and feel his arms around you
Being in love with that guy that lives only in your head
You can almost smell him and make out his face in the dark
And you can hear him saying 'Babe, relax, it will all be fine'
Still you can't hold him 'cause each time he is just a shadow
You miss him so much but you aren't even with him
You cook him a storm and dance, swaying slowly in sync with him
Say something and he laughs and totally gets your joke
But when you open your eyes, its all smoke...

Being in love with that guy
Its been so so tough but I still love him so
Cause what better guy to be in love with than my dream guy?

NOW THAT'S LOVE!

SPARK TRAILZZZ!



My cousin asked just today, ' How do you know you are in love'.
Been asking this question myself.

I mean if my palms sweat and I feel butterflies and I race towards you like my feet were feathers and when I look in your eyes, I lose my tongue and stutter when I finally find it, am I in love with you?

If I always compromise all my standards and sacrifice most things for you, I practically like lick you boots and do everything to stay your bright eyed angel, Is that really love?

I mean, love is sacrificial and compromises a lot. Like all those novel-like feelings is all very, very romantic, agreed
Like if I have all these butterflies and my heart skips. I gosh over my words and get lost in your eyes and get drenched in your voice. I could stay up late talking to you on the phone when I just said good bye to you and I need wake up for 5am in the morning. Like I hug you laughing and crying and you are saying to yourself, 'she has darn well lost her mind'.
That's all so romantic and all. Yeah, yeah, that could be love. But there's more...

Love is a comfortable feeling and like all human feelings, very, very unstable. I mean, I don't wanna be someone else in love. I would still wanna be myself. Of course compromises are good but come on people, if I compromise even myself into the bargain, who am I then? You wanted to be in love with me anyways and if you wanted a perfect angel, go to heaven!

So let me run to you and hold you tight
Let me cry and laugh or do both at once
Let me let my hair tussle up and skip the make up

Let me even scream and nag and plain wanna smash your dumb head in because you just don't get how much you mean to me (of course I shouldn't over do that. Ha ha!)


Let me be quiet for a while and chat up the dead when its in me ( am a parrot too sometimes)
Let me just be me around you
Hey, just hold on, I will be your angel in a bit but heck! I want to be just a lil' she devil for a while...

And when am done with being just me, I look back at you and your love shines with so much love, more than the day you first said you love me
And I promise to love you just the same way, That's love.
The promise to be with you unconditionally and you being with me? That's love right there!

A wise man once told me that love is like a cup
It fills up and up and up and up and then it start flowing over
Then we start drowning in it. That's when we feel it the most.
The tides are so strong and then it gets spent with our various challenges.
It never empties but its not so full anymore
He then lowers his voice and says, '...today, we are up up up up baby, Let's enjoy it and don't be afraid to get it spent for new and fresh rain is coming.' NOW THAT'S LOVE!

Love is the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and me being me and you being you and us being together through it all. THAT'S LOVE!

Six qualities that I possess, upps! Did I lie?

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

I’ve written numerous articles and posts on difficult people, personalities and relationships: Everything from Manipulative Marys to Bullies in the workplace to people who break boundaries to toxic relationships. Let’s face it: In life, we come across all kinds! As humans, we often focus on those who are negative or toxic leaving it difficult to appreciate those who are positive and healthy. Seeking out individuals with healthy, positive traits, however, may do a lot of good. The more we can surround ourselves with those who are positive and healthy, the more we may model those positive behaviors.

If you really think about it, once in awhile you come across a person who knocks you off your socks…legitimately. Maybe they have a fantastic outlook on life, even during difficult times. Maybe they are really humble, although they are extremely gifted. Maybe they make you feel special. All of these are good.

Below, I've listed some of the traits I admire most in people. Although I could probably list a dozen characteristics, I thought I’d list those that seem to be the rarest or most difficult to find.

1. Selflessness: In a world where many people don’t have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common. People can be selfless in the time they give, the ability to listen, their level of patience and the love that they give. Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special. While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite.
2. Tolerance: Those people who are tolerant make us feel comfortable with who we are and special as individuals. All of us are different, and many of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies. After all, these differences make the world go round. Having the ability to accept people for who they are and not expect them to be who we want them to be is important in life, happiness and in the health of our relationships.
3. Genuineness: Having the ability to be real, authentic and honest is unique in a world where we put so much emphasis on the superficial. Feeling comfortable in one’s skin and being true to one’s self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess. To have a REAL relationship with someone requires honesty…it requires hearing and giving input or feedback that may not always be popular…it means having the strength to tell it like it is and to not be afraid to face the consequences for doing so…it means loving people for who they really are…deep down…and not for what they appear to be.
4. Sensitivity: So often we are focused on what is important to ourselves that we can forget about those around us. Those who are sensitive are often thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected. Often, sensitive people are also self-aware, making them mindful of how they impact others with what they do and say.
5. Integrity: Call me cynical, but I think this characteristic is especially difficult to find. In a time when people will do things that are underhanded to make an extra buck (Bernie Madoff…can you hear me?), expose their personal lives to the public so they can be famous (balloon boy’s dad and any other reality TV mongers) and do what feels good in the moment without necessarily thinking of the consequences (Tiger Woods), integrity is a characteristic that is especially unique today.
6. Humility: Whether someone is super-smart, extremely talented or drop-dead gorgeous, there is something extra special about them if they don’t come across as though they know it all the time. Humility in those that possess extraordinary traits make others feel special too.

Oh boy the list could go on! What characteristics do you admire in others? Are there any that you want to cultivate?

Originally published on Sheer Balance

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/6-personality-traits-to-admire-and-acquire-576756/

So I have all this Characteristics and am like OMG! Am such a fabulous person. OK, OK, OK! Maybe not all but I have five of it, still working on the integrity part because come to think of it, can you possibly live your life and seriously think through the possible consequences of everything you do? I don't know about you but for a very spontaneous and adventurous person like me, it can get hard.

So do you have all these qualities, do u think I lied when I said I have all of these qualities (lol) or do u have anything to add? Leave your comments on here or my fb page. Let's review these admirable qualities and then you can make fun of me too if you think I don't possess any of them. Let's get real people!

Last week, a bloody mess! This week? Stand tall and live!

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

So unfortunately last week didn't pan out well
When I already believed otherwise.
First I didn't start a class I was supposed to start on Monday
Something that was supposed to give me a sense of achievement.
Well I felt, it's still OK, Can start next week.
Then I had this annoying issue at work
A guy being a total jerk and bringing on another total jerk
To further make work more difficult
Don't know why guys won't just stop feeling the world revolves around them
Yeah, it's a man's world but who said we can't live in it freely
So by Wednesday, my week was already a big drag
Well I have this pillar I run to for safety
I ran there again, eased my troubled heart, Got a good laugh out of it all
Back to work on Thursay, I felt hmmmnnn, it's looking better
Thursay went by without much drama
Friday came and started sweetly
Laughter, smiles, work
But the storm came strong again by the evening
Just when I thought I had it all together
My pillar became very shaky
We both blew hot and cold and ended warm
Cool, I said at least all is not lost, we patched that nicely
But by Saturday, the dam broke loose
My beautifully patched pillar took a lash
And am back to sub zero
What happened? I made an unnecessary call and broke my limit
Would I be forgiven? Have I done the unthinkable?
What's next? What's the way forward
So last week was all drama
I start this one with a wounded heart
Feeling bereaved and a washed
My heart is exposed and all my emotions bared
But would I run? No!
Would I faint? No!
I don't have any pillar to run to today
But I promise myself that I will stay strong
I won't be daunted and onward bravely I must
Anybody feeling like me today? Know one thing
THIS WILL BE THE BEST WEEK EVER 'CAUSE MOST GOOD THINGS START OUT POORLY
YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOURS TO DECIDE SO STAND TALL AND LIVE!

The dairies of a girl who knows a slut

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

If I didn’t know her I would think she was loose, if I didn’t, I would think she was wild, if I didn’t know her I would I will raise my nose in the air and call her ‘slut’. Sitting there in front of his car, winding, moaning, careless abandon, all she wanted was her piece.

I was appalled yet enthralled. She looked like some Greek goddess, picture of all things sensual. With each passing moment her soul soared higher, with each eagle’s touch she transformed. I looked on; she wouldn’t have cared if she knew of my presence then.

I kept looking on, still at the back of the car. I heard her speak, some foreign language I couldn’t fathom. The light on her skin; she glowed a strange yet soft and charming shade. I am sure she didn’t know she was watched. More strokes, more moans, higher, reaching.

I lingered on still captivated by the dungeons of my racing mind. I was experiencing first hand true and pure human sensitivity bared. I was here and I can’t move away knowing well enough that what I am witnessing I shouldn’t. What I am seeing should be left private.

She stroked back, with every rising eagle’s touch, she surged back. Her head fell back, eyes slit slightly open, now I see her face. A dream really and an angelic yet demonic look grazed her being. Her shirt fell open to her swollen chest. Yet she couldn’t care any less even if she tried.

Possessed, promiscuous, cheating little woman. Yes all that she is, yet I am jealous of her. Having such escape; reaching such heights; touching heaven ever so slightly. Ha! Yes I am jealous.

Because where this painter lady is, I would never reach, lost in her paints and the strokes of her brush. Transported somewhere no one else can be. Cheating life’s worries as the picture came to life. Eagle’s touch with every paint feathered in. the beauty of her eyes with each improvement. Then she gets to that that crazed peak and each stroke mattered so much. Troubles abandoned, problems forgotten. Just sheer joy and intense emotions.

Sitting there in her brother’s car, my boyfriend’s too, capturing the sunset and the birds. For the first time in my life I experienced firsthand, this little cheat, this beautiful painter who showed me how to be immersed in another world, cheat on life mercilessly and touch heaven ever so slightly.

Picture:

The Garden of Adonis - Amoretta and Time

Courtesy Peter Nahum at The Leicester Galleries

' His sexual kingship, my King'

He walks in and there fell a hush
my head spun from the blood rush

His stride so confident drenched in youthful gaiety
And his face like that of a Greek deity

Tall and broad, yet such toned abs
And his chest so big it would make good slabs

He stood and looked around
All the ladies in the room spell bound

He turned, his face a weathered one
Still not any of its handsomeness gone

A boyish aura around him
Still in a crowd, a king he will beam

Because a king he is, a king his name
Him and his name, one and the same


...His eyes fell on my face
And all that maleness held in a brace

broke into a crooked grin
That lopsided grin that pushes all my stress in a bin

He walked towards me, jungle strides of a lion
Fever engulfed my loins

From my stomach weakening my knees
Churning like a nest of bees

He reached me and I swear
I swooned, for his effect I can no longer bear

Every ladies in the room green with envy
Their eyes darting like poison ivy

I am his queen and with him I belong
And His touch can make me long

Then He spoke in a voice that my heart grazed
'Honey can we go?' by now am crazed...
'
Hello, hello, sorry, are you there?'
And back from from my obvious daydream as it were

Flushed with embarrassment and sudden fluster
I crooked 'how may I help you?', ah bugger

'My name is King, can you tell your boss am here?'
'You can go right in' My heart beating, no a pounding lair

Then before he walked right off, he turned and winked at me

My weak heart exploded, He was my King after all

With heart singing and brains ringing
I was really jolted, he was mine for a second's splitting
His sexual kingship, my king

THE WOMAN FIFTEEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN I AM.

SPARK TRAILZZZ!!!

I saw them today.
Pain, hot and sharp sired my heart

...Walking out of the galleria.
His arms draped around her shoulders
She was laughing up at him
Face shining, so young
Care-free, happy
She was saying something he liked hearing
Obviously so 'cause he had that grin
That very grin that got my heart
The special one that makes me forget all my anger at him...

Shocked, mouth gaping, jaws dropping to the car floor
I was already stepping on the brakes, Hot red fury!
About to go over there
Scratch her eyes out and drag him away.
As I was stepping out of my car
To do real justice to her swinging weaves and spaghetti top
My son tugged at my sleeves
'Mummy, this isn't the toy shop'
I was jolted back to normalcy
My daughter started chanting
'Not toy shop mummy!, not toy shop mummy!'
Looking at my son's face, so much like his father's
I can't go after him
I can't create a scene,
I love my children
Heck! I love that grinning bastard

...I looked over at them again
And I could see what only I could see
He was where he wanted to be
He was happy, chatting away, young again
Fifteen years younger even
His strides had a jolt in it
His face all lit up, enthralled
And suddenly, it struck me
She was his get away boat
Sailing him somewhere we all wanna be forever
Somewhere sweet, carefree, exciting
Somewhere where he could forget all the seriousness of family life
Where he could be young again
They were walking over to his car now,
Chewing gum and making it look like the single most important thing in the world...

...The woman fifteen years younger than I am
Was smiling at my husband
And I hated her fifteen times over
Each time for every year that takes me away
From being what she is now to him
The woman without whom he has bills and fees and child care
And all what nots to worry about with
The woman that was just sheer fun for him
Yes, pure fun
And I took pity on her
She is young and beautiful and fresh
But she is stupid, ignorant and naive
'Cause it's me he comes home to at night
He actually has a life with me
He gets away from time to time like a ship goes to harbour
But I am his sea
Troubled at times, but peaceful most times
And with me is where he belongs
I stared at her again
The woman Fifteen years younger than I am...

...Call me foolish, call me chicken, call me a wimp
But one thing is for sure
When I sleep tonight, my world is complete
'Cause he is in it
And she is not
Holding me, trusting his life in my hands
Knowing that I will keep it safe for him
Till he comes home to us...

And so off to the toy shop I drove
All the while, the picture in my head
She is fun but I am his world
He is with her now but the night will come
And she would be alone and cold
That would teach her a good deal of wisdom
The woman fifteen years younger than I am

The Story Of My Big Balls And The Wedding I Went To But Never Attended

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

So this weekend I decided,

enough with hiding behind this good girl face
just go out, be that inner diva that I always wanted to be.
I had a lovely gown I wanted to wear, very simple and sweet.
In fact it was a very decent and would make me look like an angel
but I was sick of looking like an angel
I wanted to look like a red carpet Queen confident, graceful and extremely stunning
Seriously, nice looking? I was so over that or so I thought
OK so off i went on Saturday afternoon, looking for the perfect dress.
I did find what i was looking for short, stunning color and nice design
just what I wanted
Now for the killer shoes,
I got myself the flashiest shade of pink I could find.
I went to my hair salon
even painted my nails the perfect shade of purple
And finally out came the fake lashes that I have been hiding somewhere without enough balls to wear them
Sunday afternoon, I was prepared.
No that's not the word, I was over-ready to emancipate the bold me
I donned on my gown,
wore my pop socks
Did a number on my face (Lord knows I tried harder to achieve that not-a-hooker-but-definitely-not-a-saint look)
Went for my wild accessories (all costume of course)

Then wore my dramatic peep toe
I was seriously HOTTING
My dad asked me if i was OK in that
and I said "sure dad, I am'
And then I was
Until I got to the Air Force Base gate
Which was the venue of the wedding I was to attend
The gate man said my dress was too short for their premises
'What?!, You also have dress codes for visitors?'
And that was the beginning of my drama
Got saved by a Lieutenant who was driving to the same wedding
The gate man annoyed by the man stealing his prey
decided to frazzle him too
went on to give a long speech of appropriate dressing
then admitted I was a fine girl who shouldn't dress like that
To save us both the long gist and the man's sudden over zealousness,
my guardian angel decided to identify himself
And finally something worked
When I got to the venue of the wedding,
Still hanging onto my last piece of bravado
Holy cow! I forgot! It's a Yoruba kind of setting
see gele, long gowns, basically traditional wears
I lost all hope
Along with all my SASHA FIERCE balls
And that was how I spent the rest of the wedding in the car
OK, so everyone else thought I should have entered
And they said my dress was hot
Even AL regretted that I didn't enter at the end of the day.
I was just too hot to handle
So much so I couldn't handle myself
Cause even I knew that dress was an overkill for a wedding
Had a good laugh at the end of the day
In Fact the dress made me feel good, not just good, great!
And won me some points in someone's world
Will still work on those balls though
But I guess being a nice looking girl has it's points too
I mean, I would have entered the wedding hall, wouldn't I?
LOL

The Story Of My Big Balls And The Wedding I Went To But Never Attended

The Price For Happiness

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

How much is the price of happiness?

I mean, I feel if I get the best clothes Grace the front page of Vogue

Wear the best of Victoria Beckam



Get the best bags by Gucci


Get the best shoes by Jimmy Choo

Have well-cut diamonds by Hello Kitty for Kimora Lee Simmons

Have a bottle of a very sexy perfume by Victoria's Secret

Get the best front lace wig by Your Style Lace


Be as beautiful as Kelly Rowland

Have a good career like Tyra Banks


Live in Beverly hills

Just be a fly girl


I would have paid my price for happiness
but does happiness really come from all this?
if you ask me I would say
Happiness comes from the quality of the value you add to others lives,
It comes from having things and knowing how to enjoy having them
like that beautiful smile you share with someone
like just enjoying the chatter of a small baby
like having someone be grateful for what you did for them
like giving someone a much needed hug
and letting someone know that they are not alone
Happiness to me is the combination of all the small things in life which really counts
and all the big things in life which most often don't count that much
So as this season of love and warmth cruises in
bounce out and enjoy life,
enrich the lives of people that mean the world to you, the family
Hide gifts under your Christmas trees

Share loads of joy and laughter
True happiness comes from making everyone around you happy
that way there is always one more reason to be happy
and don't forget, of course,
that all the above listed wish items can bring a girl loads of happiness.
I mean, I want those things too!