The Story Of My Big Balls And The Wedding I Went To But Never Attended

SPARK TRAILZZZ!

So this weekend I decided,

enough with hiding behind this good girl face
just go out, be that inner diva that I always wanted to be.
I had a lovely gown I wanted to wear, very simple and sweet.
In fact it was a very decent and would make me look like an angel
but I was sick of looking like an angel
I wanted to look like a red carpet Queen confident, graceful and extremely stunning
Seriously, nice looking? I was so over that or so I thought
OK so off i went on Saturday afternoon, looking for the perfect dress.
I did find what i was looking for short, stunning color and nice design
just what I wanted
Now for the killer shoes,
I got myself the flashiest shade of pink I could find.
I went to my hair salon
even painted my nails the perfect shade of purple
And finally out came the fake lashes that I have been hiding somewhere without enough balls to wear them
Sunday afternoon, I was prepared.
No that's not the word, I was over-ready to emancipate the bold me
I donned on my gown,
wore my pop socks
Did a number on my face (Lord knows I tried harder to achieve that not-a-hooker-but-definitely-not-a-saint look)
Went for my wild accessories (all costume of course)

Then wore my dramatic peep toe
I was seriously HOTTING
My dad asked me if i was OK in that
and I said "sure dad, I am'
And then I was
Until I got to the Air Force Base gate
Which was the venue of the wedding I was to attend
The gate man said my dress was too short for their premises
'What?!, You also have dress codes for visitors?'
And that was the beginning of my drama
Got saved by a Lieutenant who was driving to the same wedding
The gate man annoyed by the man stealing his prey
decided to frazzle him too
went on to give a long speech of appropriate dressing
then admitted I was a fine girl who shouldn't dress like that
To save us both the long gist and the man's sudden over zealousness,
my guardian angel decided to identify himself
And finally something worked
When I got to the venue of the wedding,
Still hanging onto my last piece of bravado
Holy cow! I forgot! It's a Yoruba kind of setting
see gele, long gowns, basically traditional wears
I lost all hope
Along with all my SASHA FIERCE balls
And that was how I spent the rest of the wedding in the car
OK, so everyone else thought I should have entered
And they said my dress was hot
Even AL regretted that I didn't enter at the end of the day.
I was just too hot to handle
So much so I couldn't handle myself
Cause even I knew that dress was an overkill for a wedding
Had a good laugh at the end of the day
In Fact the dress made me feel good, not just good, great!
And won me some points in someone's world
Will still work on those balls though
But I guess being a nice looking girl has it's points too
I mean, I would have entered the wedding hall, wouldn't I?
LOL

The Story Of My Big Balls And The Wedding I Went To But Never Attended